Kris - DS

(25 pounds lost)

Like many, I have been overweight my whole life. It's never held me back from anything that I wanted to do. I ran cross country in middle school, played volleyball in intramurals from high school, to college, and even now on a church league. I joined the sorority I wanted to in college, had friends of all sizes and interests, and have always had my blood lab results within normal limits. Sure it sucked shopping in the "plus size" section of stores or being the biggest girl in the group, but I had awesome friends who always accepted me. Even so, I knew the risks of being overweight. My mom had high blood pressure since she was 19 and became diabetic around 50, but she never weighed over 130 pounds. My dad was a little heavy but never had a health issue. Both of them died early from other things, but it was not weight related. Funny enough, I always had an interest in nutrition and even got my undergraduate degree in dietetics. I have run 4 half marathons, a half marathon relay, several 10ks, and countless 5ks. I partnered with a sorority sister that trained others to run halfsand asked her a million questions to prepare for my first half after I saw my best friend run her first half marathon here in Arizona. When I saw her do that, I thought, well I can do that too! And I did. I grew up and went to school in Indiana. I partnered with my long distance trainer sorority sister and we created a Facebook page three years ago that focuses on running and our group event each year is the Indy Mini in May. The first year three of us ran that race, last year it was 10 sisters, this year we should have even more. I have been told I've inspired some of them to run and lose weight. I have a passion for getting people to see something is a possibility for themselves, that they may have thought previously, was impossible. There is no better feeling for me. So why do I not do the same for myself? It's a question I often ponder.

Now that being said, that I've always gotten to do what I wanted, I have not always done it as well as I could have been capable of due to being fat and lack of the right mindset when it came to training and seeing food as fuel. This piece is the constant struggle and the reason I never understood how someone could grasp on to their "Why" and it was powerful enough to drive change. That was, until a week ago.

I have read enough self help books, been on enough diets, and talked to enough people that I get the concept of having your "why" and I see how that has inspired people to change. They speak about it being stronger than themselves. I have even tried to think long and hard many times, but feeling very blessed and pleased with my life and opportunities, there was never anything powerful enough for me to be so driven and so consumed by that it would catapult me to create change in my life when it came to my weight.  All that happy I-can-do-whatever-I-want came crashing down all of a sudden with a Facebook message recently. I was asked if I would consider being the 12th member of this Ragnar team. I have always wanted do a Ragnar. I had to say no. I knew the pace requirements and that a team of 11 other people would rely on me to actually train for this and do it. You see, I run by myself. I have never entered a team running event. If I finished the half marathon in 3:34 or 4:05, it doesn't hurt anyone else. I finished, got my medal, and a whole heck of a lot of people will never have that sense of accomplishment. But to join a team, knowing my pace, knowing that I'll be the largest and slowest runner, that is tough! Having to say no, was much tougher. It hurt and it hurt deep. I couldn't stop thinking, why had I not kept up with my diet and exercise relaunch I started in October? I made up my mind, not this time, but darn it, next time. So I text Rik and asked what the requirements looked like, and whenever he had time, if he could let me know, I'd appreciate it. For the 4 days after being asked initially, I could not stop thinking about it. Could this be my why? That I never ever wanted to have to say no to anything because I had given up on my diet and running? The feeling was overwhelming. Boom! There's my why. Long story short, he didn't have the 12th member yet and after some calculations they could accept my pace and lack of training. He sent me a text letting me know and that was it. I am not an emotional person, but I actually got a tear in my eye as I replied about how excited I was to join.